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The Wealthy Mind Page 6
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And the same is true for almost anything that you want in your life.
Manifesting Relationships
Suppose you are not in a very enjoyable relationship? Why do you think that is?
Pure misfortune? An accident? You just happened to meet the wrong person?
Think again. Nothing happens by accident. Whatever you believe about yourself determines where you are in life and what surrounds you.
If you're in a poor quality relationship, it's highly likely you believe you're not worthy of something better.
And remember these beliefs are not consciously held. They are deeply implanted in the subconscious mind during childhood.
Another example: it doesn't take much – perhaps only the normal problems and challenges of childhood – for a child to come to the conclusion that he is not worthy of love. (And what would that do to your chances of getting into a good relationship as an adult?)
Yet when you consider how much children suffer…. In short, one way or another, most of us hold liming beliefs about ourselves.
Even casual and "accidental" remarks by parents who are at the end of their tether can do damage.
I'm sure many of us were told more than once in the heat of the moment, and when our parents were under great stress, things like this: “You're a stupid little boy / girl."
Or perhaps you heard something like this: “Mommy doesn't love you when you do that.”
Children almost always believe this stuff. And that’s the problem.
I'm sure you get the point: we can learn we are unlovable, or that love is conditional on how we behave, or that we can't expect much love, or we don’t deserve unconditional and high quality love.
And if constant negative remarks are the norm, as they are for so many children, the chances of growing up with the strong self-esteem needed for success is – well, limited at best.
But whatever your expectations around relationships, they will manifest in the kind of friends and partners you have in your adult life.
Unfortunately Your Past Is NOT Irrelevant When Manifesting In The Present!
The quality of your life as it stands right now is a reflection of the beliefs that you hold about yourself and your worth as a person.
And what this means, for example, is that you can visualize an image of a worthwhile and positive relationship, giving you great joy and happiness, and you can visualize it from now till the end of time, but if you don't believe at some fundamental level you are worthy of such a relationship, it will not manifest for you.
Take another example.
I don't know whether you believe in the concept of luck or not, but I certainly do not.
What I believe to be true is that people create opportunities for themselves – either consciously or unconsciously – based on the beliefs they hold about themselves.
I had a friend who used to say people were "better born lucky than rich". Well, he certainly believed he was lucky.
After he left high school, my friend got his first job working as a clerk in the local court room.
And while he enjoyed it, he knew this wasn't going to be his lifelong career.
One day when he was administering a court case, one of the jurors started talking to him.
And it turned out that this man was the general manager of the local branch of an international manufacturing company. Surprisingly enough they wanted a junior accounts clerk. Surprisingly enough, this was the job my friend wanted.
Before the day was out, the general manager had invited my friend for an interview, and it won't surprise you, perhaps, to learn that he got the job.
And he stayed in the job the rest of his working life, enjoying it enormously, gaining great fulfillment, being promoted rapidly, and leaving with a generous pension and benefits at retirement age.
This kind of job might not be your aspiration, but that isn't the point of the story.
Almost every episode of this man's life, whether around relationships, work, money and anything else was full of similar stories.
For example, he broke up with his partner of many years, and the very next day was driving down the road when he spotted a woman with whom he’d been friendly 25 years before.
Simply by stopping the car and inviting her to take a ride to wherever she was going, he re-established a relationship which is still going strong and giving both of them great joy and happiness.
No wonder that his motto was "better born lucky than rich"!
He demonstrated that statement to be true for himself over and over again throughout his life.
And note this: his good fortune was not based on the fact that he really was intrinsically lucky; it was based on the fact that he believed he was lucky. And so, that was how his life played out – marked by one piece of good fortune after another.
Luck, Good Fortune, And Personal Power
Now, on the matter of luck, just as an aside, I want to mention a piece of research done by scientists.
These researchers set up a situation where people thought they were coming in for an interview to take part in a psychological study about attitudes to luck.
But the real experiment was more subtle: the scientists put a $10 bill on the sidewalk outside the venue where each woman or man would pass it on their way into the interview.
The scientists noted who picked up the money and who did not.
Then, without referring to the money, the researchers asked all the people coming to see them if they would describe themselves as “lucky”.
And you may not be surprised to hear that the people who believed themselves to be "lucky" were the ones who consistently saw and picked up the money.
Yet the money was in plain view of everyone. If only they’d seen it….
What this demonstrates beyond question is that your attitude of mind, your beliefs about what the world will provide and how lucky you are, determines whether or not you see the opportunities around you and take advantage of them.
Once again, the truth is that what you believe about yourself determines how your life plays out.
So dealing with limiting beliefs is absolutely vital for success in manifestation.
In fact, I believe the reason manifestation doesn't work for the majority of people who try it is because they do not deal with the limiting beliefs they hold about themselves.
Let me give you a few more examples to make the point.
First of all, a woman came to see me complaining that she had been visualizing herself in a wonderful romantic relationship, walking along the beach hand-in-hand, enjoying great sex with a man who truly loved her, honored her, and respected her.
She hadn't even tried to make the image of the man specific – she'd left it open to the universe, quite reasonably, to provide the man who could make her happy and who would be honest and faithful.
And she'd been doing this for several weeks. She'd also taken action: she'd joined a dating club and several local societies. But… you guessed it! Nothing.
Not the merest sniff of an eligible bachelor. Or indeed any other man for that matter.
And of course she complained: she complained that manifestation was a silly idea that didn't work. That it was all a delusion promoted by “flaky new age gurus”, as she put it.
And of course it was easy to see her pain and grief in the language that she was using about her failure to manifest what she wanted.
But when we started talking it didn't really take me long to work out what had gone wrong.
She’d had a series of more or less abusive relationships, and it turned out that she had been abused emotionally and physically by her family members when she was a girl.
Her expectations of life as an adult were completely formed by her childhood experience: she expected men to treat her badly.
That was how she saw the world.
And she hadn't done any work on improving her self-esteem or changing her expectations. She was simply visualizing a relationship with a wonderf
ul man – while she didn't actually believe that she could have such a thing.
Needless to say, she didn't.
Yet her difficulty was understanding why, when she had such a clear vision of the kind of relationship she wanted, it simply wasn't happening for her.
"Surely," she said, "if I form an image of a wonderful man and a beautiful relationship, and I put energy into that, then it's bound to come to pass if what you say about the law of attraction is true?"
But the truth is this: you must have absolute belief in the possibility of your desires manifesting before that can happen.
Let me repeat that: you need to have absolute belief that what you are trying to manifest is possible.
Right now, you might be thinking – “Surely, I know what I believe and what I don’t.”
Regrettably that isn't so. As I already explained, a lot of the beliefs we hold about ourselves and the world around us are held in the unconscious, so you're not even aware of them.
I know a lot of people find this challenging, so let me try and make it clearer to you how this works: have a look at the list of questions below, and see which of them resonate with you
Money is the root of all goodness.
It's easier for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven than for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle.
The poor get rich and the rich get even richer.
Money is a great blessing and creates happiness.
The richest people in the world are among the happiest.
Money really does grow on trees.
Money is one of the easiest things to accumulate that you could possibly imagine.
There's no need to provide for the future because money will always be available to meet your needs.
The more I spend, the more I possess.
There are more than enough resources for every single person on this planet to be abundantly wealthy.
Now of course I'm playing with you here. You probably had a gut reaction to some of those statements. But when I tell you that I believe every one of those statements to be true, how do you respond?
You see, it's only matter of perspective. What I've written above may or may not be true. It doesn't matter. What matters is what I believe to be true.
So if I believe it's better to be born lucky than rich and indeed I believe I was born lucky, then my life is going to be full of "happy coincidences" and lucky events that give me what I want.
The average person, I've come to discover, holds more negative beliefs about themselves than you could begin to imagine - both around the likelihood of being successful (low), and the likelihood of their generating prosperity or becoming abundant, being happy, or being healthy (even lower).
Indeed, without being too cynical about it, I've met many more people who believe that "life's a bitch then you die" than people who believe "life is absolutely fantastic, fulfilling, full of opportunities, and can give me everything I desire".
I hope I've made my point about limiting beliefs.
I suppose the one question which lingers in the air, and needs to be answered, is why total belief in the possibility of what you're trying to manifest is necessary for you to get it in your life.
There's no easy answer to that question.
The simple way of dealing with it is to say that total belief is an attractive positive force which goes out into the universe and activates a sequence of events which brings your desired objective to you.
And even the slightest doubt about the possibility of you manifesting successfully is a negative force, which doesn't so much repel those things from you as lead you to an outcome consistent with what you do believe.
In other words you're always getting what you believe to be true.
If you believe that “life's a bitch and then you die”, that's pretty much how life is going to be.
No matter how much time and effort you spend trying to make your life into something more positive, as long as you fundamentally believe life's a bitch and then you die, that's how it will be.
So you can visualize $1 million in your bank account all day long, but if you believe you simply can't accumulate money, or that poverty is your inheritance, or your culture says money is evil or there’s something wrong with wanting it, then the universe will not respond to the messages you're putting out about acquiring more money.
Dealing with Limiting Beliefs
I can only tell you what I believe to be true based on many years’ experience in all aspects of human growth and development.
Working on myself, working with clients, working with large groups of men and women, and working with individual clients has taught me some things that always seem to be true.
First and foremost among those is the fact that you have to eliminate limiting beliefs – which almost always stop you getting what you want.
No doubt you’re wondering how you can eliminate negative beliefs. Fortunately, there are many ways you can do this.
They range from individual therapy through to self-help techniques, and they pass through all kinds of psychological techniques and tricks on the way.
One of the best is self-hypnosis.
All that this means, really, is putting yourself into a relaxed state and then playing recordings which reprogram your unconscious to eliminate the negative beliefs you have about yourself and replace them with a much more positive set of expectations.
I've seen some truly magical transformations in people's ability to believe positive things about themselves – and manifest successfully – through the use of self-hypnosis.
You see, just as the subconscious absorbed a lot of information in childhood which is now not helping you, it can absorb new information right now, in adulthood, which can transform your beliefs about yourself and your outlook on the world.
So I'm going to provide you with three recordings that you can use to change
The beliefs you hold about yourself in certain specific areas.
In addition, I'm going to suggest where you can get other recordings to work on other subjects that you might want to manifest.
I'm also going to make some other suggestions about techniques which can change what you believe to be true about yourself at a subconscious level.
Here are some of the best…..
Ways To Destroy Self Limiting Beliefs
The best ways to destroy limiting beliefs are, I believe,
Self Hypnosis
EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique
The Lefkoe Method
Shadow Work
You can find out all about these, and how to choose your personal best method of destroying liming beliefs, below.
1. Self Hypnosis
Self-Hypnosis uses your subconscious mind to help you change unconscious beliefs that have been getting in your way of achieving what you really want in life. In fact, self-hypnosis gets your unconscious mind on YOUR side, so you can create better results in your life!
When you learn self-hypnosis, you learn successful thought patterns. Successful thought patterns are what ultimately create the results you have in your life. Do you want to achieve your goals? Do you want to enjoy deeper, more fulfilling relationships? What do YOU want?
Whatever it is, self-hypnosis could be the answer. It’s been around for hundreds of years. And while the techniques of visualization and self- hypnosis are effective, few people know how to really make use of them. Even fewer actually apply them.
You see, one of the core elements of self-hypnosis is visualization, which can help you gain self-control and self-mastery, giving you the ability to achieve all the goals you have in life. Self confidence and self esteem are easy to attain, too – in fact, life may never be the same again!
Self hypnosis is easy and straightforward – you simply play a relaxing audio recording to yourself as you sit comfortably in a chair or as you relax lying down on a bed. As you relax, in both body and mind, your conscious mind stops filtering the new, positive, suggest
ions on the recording, and allows them to enter deeply into the subconscious mind, where they can eliminate and replace negative and limiting beliefs.
I have researched the most well known companies in the field and chosen the best two for you – Hyptalk.com and Hypnosisdownloads.com.
2. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)
We are, just as everything else is, made of energy.
Memories (the happy ones and the traumatic ones) are energy. Beliefs (the empowering ones and the limiting ones) are energy. Expectations (of success or doom), team harmony and conflict, financial wealth or poverty and business flow or struggle – it’s all energy.
Once you address issues where it matters, at source, at its root – which is what EFT does – then things can change. Until then, everything is pretty much window dressing. If you haven’t yet, you may want to read the various newspaper and magazine articles or published research about the tapping phenomenon of EFT.
It does not matter how long an issue you’re struggling with has been present or which expert applied which model to come to what theoretical conclusion or acronym to explain your ‘condition’: when you change the energy, everything changes. EFT helps you do that, and often very quickly.
3. The Lefkoe Method
Were you a child with parents who were very critical of you most of the time and who rarely acknowledged you for your achievements?
No matter what you did, they focused on what you didn’t do and how you should have done better.… Really take a moment to imagine this…. If this was the pattern of their interactions with you, there literally would be tens of thousands of such instances by the time you were six or seven years old. And what do you think you would have concluded about yourself by this time?
If you were typical of most children, you’d have concluded that there was something wrong with you or you were not good enough. You would have experienced these beliefs as “the truth” about you as a child.